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The Newspaper Swat

If you are like me and you are too lazy to go to the store and buy a proper fly swatter, then the next best alternative is to make your own. And nothing serves as a better fly swatter than a rolled up magazine or newspaper.

Step 1: Grab an old magazine or newspaper that is lying around and that you don't want to use anymore.

Step 2: Now roll up the newspaper.

Step 3: Fan out the upper end of the newspaper roll.

Step 4: Using your free hand, push down and flatten the newspaper roll onto a table to give it a flattened appearance. This flattened fanned out end of the paper is your swatter. The rest of the roll is the handle.

Step 5: Now wait for the fly to land on a surface.

Step 6: Swat the shit out of that fly!

Now one of the common mistakes that rookie fly-assassins make is that they think simply rolling up a newspaper is all it takes. As they soon discover, the roll on its own does not always cover enough surface area to catch the fly's quick reflex reactions to the incoming swat. To solve this issue, it is important that you take the roll and fan it out, so that one end is fatter than the other. As step 4 demonstrates, you accomplish this by pushing the newspaper roll on a flat surface to fan it out and make it flat.

This gives it the simulated design of a fly swatter.